Life Is What YOU Make It: Creating a life I love to live

“Find balance in your life. Work hard but don’t let work take over your life, you will lose yourself. Love, but love for the right reasons. Life is too short for anything mediocre. Know who you are and know that you are worthy of reaching your dreams and that it is never too late to start creating that life you have always dreamed of. Do not compare yourself to others, that’s just deadly. No two souls are the same. You are your own person, you are beautiful and you are unique. Put your trust in the universe. Some things are just meant to happen, and some are not. Let go of whatever is stealing your happiness, it’s hard but it is worth it. Embrace change. Embrace life. Everything happens for a reason, sometimes you just need to breathe, trust and let go.” – Anonymous

I feel like I found this quote at the most perfect time in my life. While I love finding quotes to help inspire and motivate me, this one really resonated with me and made me have a “wow” moment.

I’d like to break down parts of this quote and relate it to myself, and hopefully in some way, relate to you.

Lately, I’ve been feeling a little out of balance; I’ve been feeling left behind, I guess you could say, in the whirlwind of life and all that it brings. I feel like I’ve been focusing too much on things that really don’t require my attention, or at least as much as I give.

Rocks balanced at the beach

Find balance in your life.

That’s what I’m trying to do. I know something is out of sync and I know a change needs to be made. I’m someone who needs to have a balance in life, otherwise I over compensate and either spend too much time on one thing and too little on another, or all my time on one thing and completely neglect everything else. While I’m not a fan of planning, I do need to at least know what I’m doing and why. Lately I have been so caught up in what I want to do and in focusing on the future, that I’ve neglected to see right now. I’ve been so focused on wanting to get there and leaving here out of it. (I hope that makes sense). I used to say it was about finding the joy in the journey, but lately I feel like it’s been a little more of dwelling on the struggle of the journey and hoping for the joy; I don’t want to keep going that way. I know I have every capability of creating that balance; it’s just a matter of remembering the here and now is as important as what’s to come. If I’m absent from now, who am I to say I’ll be present in the future?

Desk

Work hard but don’t let work take over your life, you will lose yourself.

This is the stage I am at now in life. It’s taken me a while to realise but I know it’s true. If you’re a millennial, I am sure you will relate with me, in saying that times are tough. Real tough. Whether you are single or in a relationship or married or whatever status you are, times are tough. There is always that struggle and sometimes the thought of how you will survive, which can make it extra stressful. Being newly married brings with it a struggle all of it’s own. While you are learning to live with each other, you are planning your future, you’re planning your now and all while working to survive another day. There is saving, bills, the definition of wants and needs and establishing the line between necessary and appropriate. I feel like I’m a hard worker. I’ve always been brought up to work hard and you’ll reap the rewards. At the same time, I feel like I’m working to survive. Work has taken over my life. I’m sure a lot of you can agree. I sometimes feel like because I am so worried about everything, I forget to live. Because of that uncertainty of where we will be, I’ve lost myself in the corporate world. That’s why this year, I made a goal to change that. I need to find myself again. I need to be the woman I was before the worries of marriage and the future changed who I was. I need to be fun, spontaneous and a little bit crazy again. I want to be that person. I guess because the “grown up” world was something I was now a part of, I forgot that it’s ok to have a little fun. Money and material possessions will come and go, but the memories and time spent with my hubby and the ones we love, are times I can’t ever get back. And in 10 years’ time, when there are kids and a mortgage and everything else that comes with a family is involved, I don’t want to look back and regret not taking that time for myself. I need to adopt the concept of work hard and play hard.

Married couple on their wedding day

Love, but love for the right reasons.

It can be hard to define the “right reasons” of why we should love. Who am I to tell you what the right reasons even are? I know myself, and you know yourself and what we define as “right” isn’t anyone else’s place to correct or judge. What I will say though, regarding relationships, is that it’s important to understand the reasons you love. These days it is hard to get caught up in the idea of love and being in love. It’s easy to compromise your feelings and even yourself, for the idea of love. My advice is, don’t do it. Don’t compromise yourself just so you can feel a part of something. I made the mistake of doing that, as did my husband, and we were miserable to say the least. We forgot that we fell in love with each other for who we are, and trying to live up to anything else, or be anyone else, just didn’t work out. Don’t be in a rush to be a part of the “love bubble”. While it is beautiful and in some ways life changing, it’s important to do it for the right reasons, and not because you are lonely or are in fear of missing out or being left behind. It’s like being so full on dinner but everyone is getting dessert and you know you will be sick if you take one bite of that sweet dessert, but you do it anyway and pay for it the rest of the night. Eat your dinner and save room for dessert. Be yourself and love will find you. Love because you have love to give; because you are content with yourself and you are independent and strong. Love because you have every intention to love forever. Don’t love because of loneliness, or society’s ideas and conceptions of relationships and time. Love is yours; own it, live it, create it and cherish it. Remember that.

Girl kicking water at the beach

Life is too short for anything mediocre.

This goes hand in hand with loving for the right reasons (because life really is too short for anything other than the life you deserve), but also with anything in general. Life is too short to work every day of your life and have nothing to show for it other than material possessions or financial security. Life is too short to say no to an adventure for fear of the unknown. Life is too short to not say hi to that girl/guy you’ve been crushing on (I did and look at me now… I married him :)) Life in general, is too short. We should live every day in a way that when our time is up, we have no regrets! We leave knowing we took every opportunity, we created every adventure possible, we lived without fear and loved with no limits. I’m just starting to realize the importance of that. It’s your life; we only get one, so make it worth living.

Girl smiling on a bench

Know who you are.

I’m 23 and only just starting to figure this one out. Depending on the stage in life that I’m at, is who I will define myself as. I’m ever changing. I don’t have the assurance of knowing who I really am just yet. But, by the end of this year, I hope to change that. I’m slowly discovering the kind of person I know I want to be and I’m taking the steps to realize and accept that. I’m owning myself and being proud of who I am. I’m learning to be consistent, independent and strong. I’m taking control of my life and I am excited to look in the mirror one day and recognize the woman staring back at me. I’m not certain I will ever know who I am 100% as I believe with every new avenue life brings, I will discover something else about myself that I didn’t know before and I’ll learn to roll with that. But I do know I am excited to see what the future brings.

Beach

Know that you are worthy of reaching your dreams and that it is never too late to start creating that life you have always dreamed of.

If you read my last post about my goals, (if not you can read it here), you’ll know this is a big one for me. I’m aiming to create the life I have always dreamed of. I’m only starting to believe I’m worthy of reaching my dreams and starting to understand it’s never too late to create what I want. I’m always seeing little motivational videos and photos on Facebook about people who spent most of their “prime years” failing, to ultimately reach the life they wanted later than they expected. It’s hard for me to understand it’s never too late. I look at other people doing what I hope to do and automatically think, that’s it, I’ve missed my chance, not realizing that the only reason I’ve missed my chance is because I didn’t start. It’s hard to see that you’re worthy of something when that something doesn’t always turn out how you want at the start. Failure is the beginning of success, because with every failed attempt, you’re one step closer to a successful outcome. The only thing I have failed in so far with regards to creating the life I’ve always dreamed, is that I have doubted my abilities and allowed my fear of the unknown and failure, judgement and criticism to control my beginning. That changes today. (I told you this quote really hit home!) I have the power and ability to succeed in whatever my heart desires and I know I can do it. The first step is to actually start.

Groom carrying bride

Do not compare yourself to others, that’s just deadly. No two souls are the same.

Going along with the previous point, I really need to stop comparing myself to others. Seeing them and their accomplishments makes me feel inadequate; and that’s on me. It’s my mind set and it’s something I need to change. Something society needs to change. We are all individuals and no matter what you think of yourself and what I think of myself, both you and I have something to offer the world. It’s up to us to share it. If you are striving to achieve something that has been done before or you want to do something that others are doing, remember there is only one you. No one else will be able to bring what you will. You may be the one person who creates a difference in someone else. But unless you try, unless I try, both you and I are missing out on being a part of something beautiful. You and I are individuals; it’s not our job to be like someone else, it’s our job to be ourselves.

Bride and Bridesmaids

You are your own person, you are beautiful and you are unique.

Following on with not comparing yourself to others, it’s important to remember you are your own person. You were created as an individual to be an individual. The world doesn’t need two of you or anyone else. What you have to offer the world is unique to you and only you. You are beautiful both inside and out. BE beautiful inside and out. The world has enough negativity and ugliness, without any of us adding to it. Be the light in the darkness. I’m still learning to believe I’m beautiful. It’s hard to change a mind set you have had for so long. But having a husband who tells me every day and makes me feel beautiful is something I truly am grateful for. It’s a blessing to have someone reignite that fire inside of you that makes you want to believe the best of yourself. Let’s work together to be beautiful; to create beautiful and spread beautiful. We as women, and men, should be more focused on uplifting one another rather than tearing each other down. No one has anything to gain from that.

Path

Put your trust in the universe. Some things are just meant to happen, and some are not.

I’d like to change the word universe to Lord. Whatever your faith or whatever you believe in, put your trust in that. I have always been taught to put my trust in the Lord and by doing so, everything will be ok. I’ve had plenty of experiences that attest to that. Some things are meant to happen and some are not. It’s ok. If it isn’t meant for you, I believe it means there is something greater in store. Sometimes we have to miss out on something good for something great. The biggest “good” I gave up was leaving the life I loved in Australia for something unknowingly, at the time, great to come…My husband. (Read our story here). While we may not always understand or even agree, there is always something better to come. I truly believe that.

Road

Let go of whatever is stealing your happiness, it’s hard but it is worth it.

I really struggled with this growing up. I would always hold onto the people or things that made me unhappy. I believed that it was ok to suffer in the hopes things would get better or people would change. It wasn’t until I left everything that I knew here in New Zealand, that I realised how wrong I was. The moment I let go of everything that hurt me, made me upset or made me worse as a person, I flourished in ways I didn’t even intend. While I may have lost friends along the way and missed out on opportunities here in New Zealand, I gained better friends who became family and I had every opportunity I needed and more in Australia. Holding on to what makes you unhappy only stunts YOUR growth. No one else’s. You deserve everything and more; nothing should have that power to take that away from you. Take it from me… You are worth more than that, whether you think it or not. The moment I realised that, was the moment my life changed for the better.

Wedding couple walking

Embrace change.

I get it, the unknown is scary. I am strongly against doing anything if I don’t know the outcome or where it’ll take me. But it’s not the way to live. If I didn’t embrace the unknown, I would never have met my husband or made friends I will cherish forever. If I held on to every negative thing that ever happened, I never would have been the person I am today. Change is scary, but change is good. Change brings with it, things you may not have known you needed. I’m making it a permanent fixture in my life to embrace change and the journey change brings.

Shoes at the beach

Embrace life.

It’s simple. Life is too short not too.

Groom looking down

Everything happens for a reason, sometimes you just need to breathe, trust and let go.

I’m learning this, and by the end of 2017, I want to have mastered it. I need to remember to breathe, trust and let go. I can’t control everything, I know that. But I need to be ok with it. Things may not always go my way, but there is a reason why. It can be hard to even think past something like that but I have to try. Through all the struggles, trials and downfalls, I need to trust that in the end it’ll all be ok. I’m hoping that by doing this, I’ll finally be in control; not of the situation, but in the way it can be perceived and handled.

Once I break down the aspects of life I need to focus on, I don’t feel so overwhelmed. I feel like attaining balance and peace is actually doable. I’ve never been one to adopt a mantra or quote for the year or even my life, but I think this is pretty close to everything I need right now.

Nothing worth having is easy, and I know a life I love to live is worth having. I deserve that. We all do.

Couple staring holding hands

Life is what you make it, so I’m going to make it mine.

Let me know in the comments below what you’d like to work on, and if you have any advice!

Mrs Yolo xo

2 comments on “Life Is What YOU Make It: Creating a life I love to live”

  1. Wow what a blog!! I am much older than you and wish I had known what you do at your age. I learned all of this a bit later in life. I am now making those changes as well, but it would have been so much easier to do it 20 years ago 💖 having said that I have no regrets and am looking forward to what the future brings.
    It’s never too late xxx

    1. Thanks so much for stopping by and having a read!
      It’s never too late to learn and improve hey? I know we can only get better as we learn 😊 wish you all the best for your goals this year! You can do it 😊 xx

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